I would like your honest opinion of what I should do with myself.
I am 41 years old and from the UK. Sixteen years ago I was convicted of indecent images of children on the internet. This didn't really set me up very well in life. In fact I don't think I really ever had a chance having been abused from around age 3/4 by my eldest sister's friend. I grew up as a child wanted to replicate those feelings I felt as a young boy. In my early teens I discovered my dad's porn stash and then the internet came to be in the late 90's. About a year into the internet I had become addicted to child pornography. I don't know if I am sexually attracted to children or just addicted to extreme forms of pornography? I have never and would never subject a child to any harm at all.
I lost all my friends, I felt ashamed around my family. I became resentful of my country and it's government. I don't trust them at all.
I met my ex partner in 2010 and we had a son on 2012 of whom i adore. She knew about my conviction and we had no involvement with social services. However last year the relationship broke down and I met someone else. Since then she has gotten the social services involved and they are accusing me of being a risk to my son. I love my son deeply and the thought of people thinking that I want to harm him is making me feel ill, depressed and suicidal. I have not seen my son for 10 months. Social services say I cannot see him and now my ex partner doesn't want him to have anything to do with me.
I cannot qualify for legal aid to put this through the courts and it will cost upwards of £7000 to get this through court, with no certainty it will go in my favour.
I've started sending letters to my son and keeping copies of each one as I am almost certain my ex will not be reading them to him. I feel like the state wants me wiped clean out of his life. I feel powerless, humiliated and alone. I don't know what to do.
Are you Admin-kun?
I'm admin @ 4
x13 not here.
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