TIFU by agreeing to have sex with my boyfriend's "best friend"
This happened Saturday night/Sunday morning but I only just found out what really happened so the TI part still applies right?
My (22F) boyfriend (25M) and I have been seeing each other for almost two years and living with each other for most of that time. He moved in with me early in the relationship and yes I know that was dumb but he was being kicked out of the place he was staying and I was so totally in love. Only later did I find out why his roommates were kicking him out, he had been stealing from them. He was basically taking small things at first and pawning them and was only caught when he moved up to a brand new lap-top which obviously didn't go unnoticed. I did not know about any of this at the time.
Turns out he's a junkie addicted to pain killers. I only found this out when I came home from work one day and found him completely passed out on the sofa and totally unresponsive, not even breathing right. His skin felt cold and nothing I did could rouse him. I ended up calling 911 and that turned out to be his big wake up call. After getting out of the hospital he confessed his addiction to me and all the things he'd done like stealing from his roommates, his parents, all the people who he had always said were just assholes who hated him for no reason. Well he went into treatment and has supposedly been clean for almost a year.
Now to Saturday night. We were hanging out at a friend's house, his friend not mine. We were drinking (yes yes I know he shouldn't be using ANYTHING while in recovery but alcohol has seriously never been a problem for him he rarely ever even gets drunk). I like drinking but rarely get the chance due to my job so I decided to take advantage. I didn't get trashed or anything but it was the first time I'd been buzzed/drunk in a long time.
At around midnight his best friend (the guy whose house it was), me, and my boyfriend were the only people left (there had been another couple earlier). once they were gone my BF said he needed to speak with me outside in private. That's when he asked if I'd be willing to have sex with his friend.
The request was out of the blue but not too crazy for us because we're both a little kinky and have been involved in two three-ways since getting together. What was unusual was that he wanted me to have sex with his friend by myself. He'd leave, I'd have sex with the friend and then he would come pick me up in the morning. I'm not blaming being intoxicated for agreeing to do it. I wasn't that hammered. Looking back I now blame my boyfriend who manipulated me so well I just couldn't say no. He told me about how his friend thought I was so hot and how he thought he could never get a girl like me, he hadn't had a girlfriend in over a year since his last breakup, the reason we never saw him (I had just met him that night) was he had become a shut-in, all that. Eventually I felt so sorry for the guy and my boyfriend assured me he was fine with it and I believed him because hey he's seen me have sex with another guy (one of our three-ways was with another guy) and it didn't affect our relationship. So I said sure and my boyfriend left.
Proceed to sexy times. The best-friend surprised me by immediately asking if we were going to do it. I thought I had to seduce him or something but it turned out my boyfriend had told him he'd ask me. When I said yes we basically just got down to business. It should have occurred to me that for a supposed shut-in who hadn't been with a woman in over a year it was strange how bold and how confident this guy was. But I was tipsy, I was aroused (yes, I was, I admit), so I just enjoyed it. We actually ended up having sex several times that night and neither of us really ever slept. We talked a lot between bouts but he avoided talk of his supposed ex girlfriend and instead we just talked about common interests, how weird this was, how cool my boyfriend was, things like that. At about 9am Sunday morning my boyfriend picked me up and we went out to breakfast. I paid, as usual.
Why do I always pay? Because I'm the only person who has access to my boyfriend's bank account. He doesn't make much money and there's never much more than a few hundred dollars in it anyway but when he first got into recovery he asked if I'd help him by taking over his account and monitoring his spending. Eventually that led to me just giving him an allowance every week from his own account, in cash, because he said he couldn't even trust himself with his own PIN. I monitor his account closly to make sure his bills get paid (car payment, insurance, etc.) and transfer a certain amount every month to my own account for his half of the rent and utilities. That leaves him with very little money so I usually pay for everything.
This morning while getting ready for work I was trying to find my cell phone. My BF was still asleep (he works a late shift) but I know that he sometimes uses my phone to play his stupid app games (he doesn't have a smartphone). When I checked his jeans pockets I was surprised to find not my phone but $30 in cash. It's currently Wednesday, the day I usually give him his "allowance". He never has any cash left over come Wednesday. Paranoid, I went and checked both my and his bank accounts online: no unusual activity. So where did this extra money come from?
With him still snoring in bed I began searching around the room, paranoid about drugs and whatever. Finally I checked the place he had once told me early on in his treatment was his favorite place to hide his pills: in a regular pill bottle in the medicine cabinet. He's on a legit medication for a something I won't mention but I know what those pills look like since I've seen him take them many times. I checked the bottle in the medicine cabinet and yep, there they were: two pills that were definitely not like the others.
That's when I called in sick to work and then woke his stupid ass up. I told him I knew he was using again and of course he denied it at first. I asked him what he'd stolen to pay for the pills, how he'd gotten the extra money. He denied it all, said he'd just been thrifty that week. He concocted a huge story of bullshit that explained everything. He was holding onto those two pills for a friend in the program (NA). Of course he wasn'tusing I was just being paranoid!
If I've learned anything from all the NA meetings I've been to with him it's that addicts are liars. They just are, you hear about it all the time. So I kept calling him out for his bullshit, demanding to know the truth, pointing out all the flaws in his excuses/stories/etc. When he started to cry I told him to get off the fucking pity-pot and just tell me the truth.
Finally he snapped and said FINE! Yes I've been using a little.". When I insisted he tell me where he got the money for the pills he confessed the whole thing in a very angry, accusatory way.
That best friend of his? His dealer. He met him two months ago at work. He paid for his pills at first by giving him what cash he could but then he needed more so he started giving him things like his PS3 (he told me it broke), games, a gold chain he said he'd lost. Finally, me.
Yes, turns out Saturday night had been a set-up from the beginning. He had told his dealer that he could get me to fuck him in exchange for some pills and $100 cash. I don't know how many pills and I don't know how much they cost but that sounds pretty fucking cheap to me. Then he had the audacity to say that it was MY fault for being a whore, saying I hadn't even tried to resist the chance to be with "yet another" man. I asked what he meant and he acted like I knew, he even said I must have known that that MMF three-way we had a long time ago, back when he was using, was for the same reason. When I freaked out he called me a drama queen and an enabler, that I liked being both, that I liked controlling him and fucking other men so why shouldn't he make some money off of it?
I told him to get the fuck out of the apartment right then. I was terrified and upset, screaming at him and begging him to just leave. Eventually he gathered up some clothes, called me a whore one last time, and took off.
Now I just feel like such complete shit. Like he pointed out, the first three-way we had (the FFM one) was my idea. My kinks had given him the idea to use me to feed his habit. I also feel stupid for not seeing the signs earlier. The PS3 broke so he just tossed it? The gold chain he'd been so proud of being able to buy back after his first three months of sobriety was simply "lost" and he didn't care? His strange, detached demeanor these last few months?
I fucked up big time everyone. Not just for being tricked into being a prostitute which is basically what happened but also for enabling my junkie boyfriend. I thought everything I was doing was really helping him but it wasn't. Right now I feel stupid and used and I can't tell anyone about it because I'm too embarrassed. The only person I told so far is my best friend and all I told her was that I kicked him out because he's using again. And you guys. Thanks for being here for me if you've read this far. I'm sorry for the novel length post but I just had to get it all off my chest because this has truly been the biggest fuck up of mine ever.
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